Meg's "Elite" Christmas party is ruined by Oprah: "A Listers Avoid Like the Plague"
As the holiday season descends upon us, all is not well in the Sussex household. Picture this: Meghan, our dear Duchess of Drama, finds herself on the verge of tears because Auntie Oprah, the woman instrumental in launching her into the stratosphere of stardom, has chosen to snub her Christmas party invitation. The audacity! But fear not, for Oprah apparently has better things to occupy her time than attending Meghan's shindig.
But hold on, there's more to this festive tale. Doria Ragland, Meghan's beloved mother, makes a grand entrance in a humble Herz car rental. One might wonder, couldn't she have borrowed one of Harry's fancy cars for the occasion? It's akin to showing up at the Met Gala in a Walmart t-shirt.
Now, let's delve into the heart of the matter. Meghan and Harry harbored dreams of a cozy Christmas reunion with the royal family, yet it appears that ship has sailed—or should we say, Meghan and Harry are the ones who've sailed away from the royals. Sources close to the couple (assuming they can be trusted) whisper that they initially sought quality time with their British family. Alas, the release of Omid Scobie's second book, "Endgame," has thrown a wrench into their plans, adding fuel to the fire.
Speaking of fires, the Christmas table is set, but instead of a majestic turkey, a humble chicken from the couple's garden takes center stage. Classy move, Meghan, very classy. And let's not overlook the place mats, now replaced with stacks of Meghan's best-selling picture book, "The Bench." It seems that betrayal and woe are on the menu today, reheated from last year's leftovers.
But what's Christmas without a little drama, right? Anti-Oprah chose not to grace them with her presence, and we can only speculate as to why. Perhaps she's tired of hearing about Spotify coronations and car chases. Can you blame her? Meanwhile, Doria and Tyler Perry arrive in a Herz electric car rental because, evidently, nothing says Royal Christmas like renting a car. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
As for the Sussexes' idea of festive fun, it includes Omid Scobie playing the role of court jester. Forget charades; they're all about fireside storytelling. But don't be fooled, these yarns are as phony as they come, and the couple seems to revel in every minute of it. The matching cardigans and beanies? All for show during their post-lunch beach walk, where they launch ships in bottles, apparently on a mission to save the world one ship at a time. How noble of them.
And let's not forget the royal hangers-on, the HWIs, who, lacking other Christmas invitations, commune with Diana's spirit, conveniently hearing exactly what they want to. "Megan, you're the fairest of them all, and Harry, you're not old and weird," as per the ghost of Diana.
But here's the kicker: the Sussexes can't even pretend to have a happy family. The best they can muster is staging fake Hallmark movie moments with the kids for those precious Instagram photos. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. The royal holiday season just wouldn't be complete without a healthy dose of Sussex shenanigans. Here's to another year of royal drama! Cheers!
